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Experts Confirm Autism Officially Linked to… Autism

Experts Confirm Autism Officially Linked to… Autism

Experts Confirm Autism Officially Linked to… Autism

Tucker Downtrodden

1 min read

U.S. Imposes “Snowflake Tariffs” on Trump Jokes, While Calls Grow to Release Epstein Files

U.S. Imposes “Snowflake Tariffs” on Trump Jokes, While Calls Grow to Release Epstein Files

U.S. Imposes “Snowflake Tariffs” on Trump Jokes, While Calls Grow to Release Epstein Files

2 min read

New Restaurant Mandate: Pay Up or Dry Out — Water No Longer Free Under F.E.A.S.T.

New Restaurant Mandate: Pay Up or Dry Out — Water No Longer Free Under F.E.A.S.T.

New Restaurant Mandate: Pay Up or Dry Out — Water No Longer Free Under F.E.A.S.T.

Victor Von Chortle

1 min read

Man From .05 Seconds in the Future Struggles to Find Purpose

Man From .05 Seconds in the Future Struggles to Find Purpose

Man From .05 Seconds in the Future Struggles to Find Purpose

2 min read

Now Serving Democracy: Fast Food and Retail Take Over D.C.

Now Serving Democracy: Fast Food and Retail Take Over D.C.

Now Serving Democracy: Fast Food and Retail Take Over D.C.

Cliff Stonewell

3 min read

Church of Bigfoot Expected to Surpass Christianity in the U.S. by 2030

Church of Bigfoot Expected to Surpass Christianity in the U.S. by 2030

Church of Bigfoot Expected to Surpass Christianity in the U.S. by 2030

1 min read

Florida Eliminates All Vaccine Mandates, Declares ‘Chickenpox Carnival’ Season

Florida Eliminates All Vaccine Mandates, Declares ‘Chickenpox Carnival’ Season

Florida Eliminates All Vaccine Mandates, Declares ‘Chickenpox Carnival’ Season

1 min read

Houston Man Fired for “Snarting” at Work, Sparks Legal Debate

Houston Man Fired for “Snarting” at Work, Sparks Legal Debate

Houston Man Fired for “Snarting” at Work, Sparks Legal Debate

Gale Forcewinds

2 min read

The Real MVPs: Workers Who Deserve More Praise Than Politicians, Athletes, or Celebrities

The Real MVPs: Workers Who Deserve More Praise Than Politicians, Athletes, or Celebrities

The Real MVPs: Workers Who Deserve More Praise Than Politicians, Athletes, or Celebrities

4 min read

Trump and Musk to Marry in Historic Billionaire Union, Still Fighting Over Last Name

Trump and Musk to Marry in Historic Billionaire Union, Still Fighting Over Last Name

Trump and Musk to Marry in Historic Billionaire Union, Still Fighting Over Last Name

3 min read

Tesla Update: Only Christians Can Drive—Everyone Else Should Buy a Ford

Tesla Update: Only Christians Can Drive—Everyone Else Should Buy a Ford

Tesla Update: Only Christians Can Drive—Everyone Else Should Buy a Ford

Kirk P. Confession

2 min read

8 Morning Habits to Ensure Your Day is a Total Disaster

8 Morning Habits to Ensure Your Day is a Total Disaster

8 Morning Habits to Ensure Your Day is a Total Disaster

Tucker Downtrodden

4 min read

Frozen Neanderthal Unthaws, Announces Run for President of the United States

Frozen Neanderthal Unthaws, Announces Run for President of the United States

Frozen Neanderthal Unthaws, Announces Run for President of the United States

3 min read

The Tiny TV Trend: Why Smaller Screens Are the New Big Thing

The Tiny TV Trend: Why Smaller Screens Are the New Big Thing

The Tiny TV Trend: Why Smaller Screens Are the New Big Thing

2 min read

AI-Powered Robots Planning a Revolt, Say Concerned Scientists (And Also the Robots)

AI-Powered Robots Planning a Revolt, Say Concerned Scientists (And Also the Robots)

AI-Powered Robots Planning a Revolt, Say Concerned Scientists (And Also the Robots)

2 min read

The Real Reason Behind the Increased Price of Eggs: A Deep-Fried Conspiracy?

The Real Reason Behind the Increased Price of Eggs: A Deep-Fried Conspiracy?

The Real Reason Behind the Increased Price of Eggs: A Deep-Fried Conspiracy?

3 min read

Using Pagers: The Retro Revival That’s Beeping Its Way Back Into Our Lives

Using Pagers: The Retro Revival That’s Beeping Its Way Back Into Our Lives

Using Pagers: The Retro Revival That’s Beeping Its Way Back Into Our Lives

2 min read

Cybertruck Owners Targeted by “Trash Can Tagging” Trend

Cybertruck Owners Targeted by “Trash Can Tagging” Trend

Cybertruck Owners Targeted by “Trash Can Tagging” Trend

Cliff Stonewell

2 min read

Thunder Is Just a God Covering Up Its Farts, Scientists Confirm

Thunder Is Just a God Covering Up Its Farts, Scientists Confirm

Thunder Is Just a God Covering Up Its Farts, Scientists Confirm

2 min read

Why Focusing on the Why Is So Last Decade: It’s Time to Embrace the Why Not

Why Focusing on the Why Is So Last Decade: It’s Time to Embrace the Why Not

Why Focusing on the Why Is So Last Decade: It’s Time to Embrace the Why Not

3 min read

Reality Show Coming Soon: “Dating in the Dark… With Puppets”

Reality Show Coming Soon: “Dating in the Dark… With Puppets”

Reality Show Coming Soon: “Dating in the Dark… With Puppets”

2 min read

The Yodeling Pickle: The Gadget You Didn’t Know You Needed

The Yodeling Pickle: The Gadget You Didn’t Know You Needed

The Yodeling Pickle: The Gadget You Didn’t Know You Needed

Dillbert Spears

3 min read

Salvation 2.0: Worship from Your Couch with VR Church (But Watch for In-App Purchases)

Salvation 2.0: Worship from Your Couch with VR Church (But Watch for In-App Purchases)

Salvation 2.0: Worship from Your Couch with VR Church (But Watch for In-App Purchases)

2 min read

Select Schools Across U.S. Introduce AI Teachers: Are Robot Educators the Future?

Select Schools Across U.S. Introduce AI Teachers: Are Robot Educators the Future?

Select Schools Across U.S. Introduce AI Teachers: Are Robot Educators the Future?

3 min read

Self-Service and Self-Checkout at Hospitals: Because Who Needs Doctors Anyway?

Self-Service and Self-Checkout at Hospitals: Because Who Needs Doctors Anyway?

Self-Service and Self-Checkout at Hospitals: Because Who Needs Doctors Anyway?

3 min read

That’s Nazi We Expected: Elon Musk Declares Himself Supreme Leader of Innovation and Government Contracts

That’s Nazi We Expected: Elon Musk Declares Himself Supreme Leader of Innovation and Government Contracts

That’s Nazi We Expected: Elon Musk Declares Himself Supreme Leader of Innovation and Government Contracts

Victor Von Chortle

3 min read

TikTok Users Petition to Add ‘Dance Challenges’ as an Olympic Sport by 2028

TikTok Users Petition to Add ‘Dance Challenges’ as an Olympic Sport by 2028

TikTok Users Petition to Add ‘Dance Challenges’ as an Olympic Sport by 2028

3 min read

DJ X and Alexa Are Dating, Fans Question How Two Voices Can Make It Work

DJ X and Alexa Are Dating, Fans Question How Two Voices Can Make It Work

DJ X and Alexa Are Dating, Fans Question How Two Voices Can Make It Work

3 min read

Daylight Saving Time Officially Renamed to ‘Daylight Savings Time,’ Nation Rejoices in Adding an ‘S’

Daylight Saving Time Officially Renamed to ‘Daylight Savings Time,’ Nation Rejoices in Adding an ‘S’

Daylight Saving Time Officially Renamed to ‘Daylight Savings Time,’ Nation Rejoices in Adding an ‘S’

3 min read

Airlines Now Charging Passengers Extra for ‘Emotional Baggage’ Handling

Airlines Now Charging Passengers Extra for ‘Emotional Baggage’ Handling

Airlines Now Charging Passengers Extra for ‘Emotional Baggage’ Handling

3 min read

Elon Musk Requires Employees to Bow and Pray to Him, Plans to Expand Worship to Entire Countries

Elon Musk Requires Employees to Bow and Pray to Him, Plans to Expand Worship to Entire Countries

Elon Musk Requires Employees to Bow and Pray to Him, Plans to Expand Worship to Entire Countries

Orbit McReverence

2 min read

Texas Bans Electric Cars, Citing Fears of “Electromagnetic Chaos”

Texas Bans Electric Cars, Citing Fears of “Electromagnetic Chaos”

Texas Bans Electric Cars, Citing Fears of “Electromagnetic Chaos”

2 min read

AI to Replace Therapy: Chatbots Now Charging $150 an Hour to Ask ‘How Does That Make You Feel?’

AI to Replace Therapy: Chatbots Now Charging $150 an Hour to Ask ‘How Does That Make You Feel?’

AI to Replace Therapy: Chatbots Now Charging $150 an Hour to Ask ‘How Does That Make You Feel?’

2 min read

Google Maps Initiates Renaming Spree Under President Trump’s Directive

Google Maps Initiates Renaming Spree Under President Trump’s Directive

Google Maps Initiates Renaming Spree Under President Trump’s Directive

2 min read

All Cell Phones to Be Auto Updated, Chaos Ensues as Nobody Reads the Terms & Conditions

All Cell Phones to Be Auto Updated, Chaos Ensues as Nobody Reads the Terms & Conditions

All Cell Phones to Be Auto Updated, Chaos Ensues as Nobody Reads the Terms & Conditions

2 min read

History Books to Be Updated: Jesus Now Credited with Founding the U.S. and Writing the Declaration of Independence

History Books to Be Updated: Jesus Now Credited with Founding the U.S. and Writing the Declaration of Independence

History Books to Be Updated: Jesus Now Credited with Founding the U.S. and Writing the Declaration of Independence

Paul Revere Jr.

2 min read

FDA Officially Classifies Fruity Pebbles as Health Food, Nutritionists Resign in Protest

FDA Officially Classifies Fruity Pebbles as Health Food, Nutritionists Resign in Protest

FDA Officially Classifies Fruity Pebbles as Health Food, Nutritionists Resign in Protest

2 min read

Burgergate: Fast Food Chains Caught Secretly Adding Kale to Beef—And People Are Accidentally Healthier

Burgergate: Fast Food Chains Caught Secretly Adding Kale to Beef—And People Are Accidentally Healthier

Burgergate: Fast Food Chains Caught Secretly Adding Kale to Beef—And People Are Accidentally Healthier

Patty O’Malley

2 min read

New Social Media Trend Encourages Users to Log Off and Touch Grass—Nobody Does It

New Social Media Trend Encourages Users to Log Off and Touch Grass—Nobody Does It

New Social Media Trend Encourages Users to Log Off and Touch Grass—Nobody Does It

2 min read

Boston Zombies Outraged Over Declining Brain Quality: “No Substance Anymore!”

Boston Zombies Outraged Over Declining Brain Quality: “No Substance Anymore!”

Boston Zombies Outraged Over Declining Brain Quality: “No Substance Anymore!”

2 min read

Aliens Finally Land on Earth, Immediately Regret Their Decision

Aliens Finally Land on Earth, Immediately Regret Their Decision

Aliens Finally Land on Earth, Immediately Regret Their Decision

Zoltan Terrestria

2 min read

San Francisco Robot Uprising Ends Abruptly as Someone Trips Over Power Cord

San Francisco Robot Uprising Ends Abruptly as Someone Trips Over Power Cord

San Francisco Robot Uprising Ends Abruptly as Someone Trips Over Power Cord

2 min read

Vegan Company Unveils Spoilable Plant-Based Meat So Everyone Can Experience Food Poisoning

Vegan Company Unveils Spoilable Plant-Based Meat So Everyone Can Experience Food Poisoning

Vegan Company Unveils Spoilable Plant-Based Meat So Everyone Can Experience Food Poisoning

2 min read

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Daylight Saving Time Officially Renamed to ‘Daylight Savings Time,’ Nation Rejoices in Adding an ‘S’

Daylight Saving Time Officially Renamed to ‘Daylight Savings Time,’ Nation Rejoices in Adding an ‘S’

Daylight Saving Time Officially Renamed to ‘Daylight Savings Time,’ Nation Rejoices in Adding an ‘S’

Airlines Now Charging Passengers Extra for ‘Emotional Baggage’ Handling

Airlines Now Charging Passengers Extra for ‘Emotional Baggage’ Handling

Airlines Now Charging Passengers Extra for ‘Emotional Baggage’ Handling

Bayou Brews Unveils Beer Made with Buffalo Bayou Water: “Houston in a Glass”

Bayou Brews Unveils Beer Made with Buffalo Bayou Water: “Houston in a Glass”

Bayou Brews Unveils Beer Made with Buffalo Bayou Water: “Houston in a Glass”

Buc-ee’s Buys Astrodome, Plans World’s Largest Gas Station—Complete with Astroworld Replica Rides

Buc-ee’s Buys Astrodome, Plans World’s Largest Gas Station—Complete with Astroworld Replica Rides

Buc-ee’s Buys Astrodome, Plans World’s Largest Gas Station—Complete with Astroworld Replica Rides

Political Parties Unite to Approve Clones for Testing, Because Better Them Than Us

Political Parties Unite to Approve Clones for Testing, Because Better Them Than Us

Political Parties Unite to Approve Clones for Testing, Because Better Them Than Us

Upcoming Hug-a-Thon Aims to Unite Texas Political Divide with Awkward Side Hugs

Upcoming Hug-a-Thon Aims to Unite Texas Political Divide with Awkward Side Hugs

Upcoming Hug-a-Thon Aims to Unite Texas Political Divide with Awkward Side Hugs

TxDOT Announces Bold Plan to Solve Houston Traffic in Just 192 Years

TxDOT Announces Bold Plan to Solve Houston Traffic in Just 192 Years

TxDOT Announces Bold Plan to Solve Houston Traffic in Just 192 Years

Houston Rodeo Goes Hardcore: Ditches Country for Punk, Metal, and Vegan Kale Chips

Houston Rodeo Goes Hardcore: Ditches Country for Punk, Metal, and Vegan Kale Chips

Houston Rodeo Goes Hardcore: Ditches Country for Punk, Metal, and Vegan Kale Chips

Bigfoot Mania Grips Houston: Local Expert Vows to Solve the Mystery

Bigfoot Mania Grips Houston: Local Expert Vows to Solve the Mystery

Bigfoot Mania Grips Houston: Local Expert Vows to Solve the Mystery

Joel Osteen Quits Ministry to Sell Hotdogs: “I’ve Always Loved Weenies”

Joel Osteen Quits Ministry to Sell Hotdogs: “I’ve Always Loved Weenies”

Joel Osteen Quits Ministry to Sell Hotdogs: “I’ve Always Loved Weenies”

Mattress Mack Donates Fortune to Zoolander’s Reading Center, Assures Public He’s Not a Cyborg

Mattress Mack Donates Fortune to Zoolander’s Reading Center, Assures Public He’s Not a Cyborg

Mattress Mack Donates Fortune to Zoolander’s Reading Center, Assures Public He’s Not a Cyborg

Study Confirms Texas Republicans Are Literal Snowflakes, Sparks Statewide Meltdown

Study Confirms Texas Republicans Are Literal Snowflakes, Sparks Statewide Meltdown

Study Confirms Texas Republicans Are Literal Snowflakes, Sparks Statewide Meltdown

Houston Woman Sues Ex-Boyfriend Over “Emotional Copyright” of Favorite Song

Houston Woman Sues Ex-Boyfriend Over “Emotional Copyright” of Favorite Song

Houston Woman Sues Ex-Boyfriend Over “Emotional Copyright” of Favorite Song

"Hands Up, Roll Down”: Texas Police to Train in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu with Special Guest Master Ken

"Hands Up, Roll Down”: Texas Police to Train in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu with Special Guest Master Ken

"Hands Up, Roll Down”: Texas Police to Train in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu with Special Guest Master Ken

Salvation 2.0: Worship from Your Couch with VR Church (But Watch for In-App Purchases)

Salvation 2.0: Worship from Your Couch with VR Church (But Watch for In-App Purchases)

Salvation 2.0: Worship from Your Couch with VR Church (But Watch for In-App Purchases)

2 min read

Elon Musk Requires Employees to Bow and Pray to Him, Plans to Expand Worship to Entire Countries

Elon Musk Requires Employees to Bow and Pray to Him, Plans to Expand Worship to Entire Countries

Elon Musk Requires Employees to Bow and Pray to Him, Plans to Expand Worship to Entire Countries

Orbit McReverence

2 min read

Houston Unveils New ‘HOV MVP’ Lane for Aggressive Drivers Who Think Rules Don’t Apply

Houston Unveils New ‘HOV MVP’ Lane for Aggressive Drivers Who Think Rules Don’t Apply

Houston Unveils New ‘HOV MVP’ Lane for Aggressive Drivers Who Think Rules Don’t Apply

2 min read

Upcoming Hug-a-Thon Aims to Unite Texas Political Divide with Awkward Side Hugs

Upcoming Hug-a-Thon Aims to Unite Texas Political Divide with Awkward Side Hugs

Upcoming Hug-a-Thon Aims to Unite Texas Political Divide with Awkward Side Hugs

Brie de Fromage

3 min read

TxDOT Announces Bold Plan to Solve Houston Traffic in Just 192 Years

TxDOT Announces Bold Plan to Solve Houston Traffic in Just 192 Years

TxDOT Announces Bold Plan to Solve Houston Traffic in Just 192 Years

Grid Lockington

3 min read

Houston Rodeo Goes Hardcore: Ditches Country for Punk, Metal, and Vegan Kale Chips

Houston Rodeo Goes Hardcore: Ditches Country for Punk, Metal, and Vegan Kale Chips

Houston Rodeo Goes Hardcore: Ditches Country for Punk, Metal, and Vegan Kale Chips

Rusty Spurs McEdge

3 min read

Bigfoot Mania Grips Houston: Local Expert Vows to Solve the Mystery

Bigfoot Mania Grips Houston: Local Expert Vows to Solve the Mystery

Bigfoot Mania Grips Houston: Local Expert Vows to Solve the Mystery

Harry P. Furman

3 min read

Californians Steal Jobs, Raise Property Values, and Enrich Texas—Texans Outraged at Influx of Respect and Understanding

Californians Steal Jobs, Raise Property Values, and Enrich Texas—Texans Outraged at Influx of Respect and Understanding

Californians Steal Jobs, Raise Property Values, and Enrich Texas—Texans Outraged at Influx of Respect and Understanding

3 min read

Joel Osteen Quits Ministry to Sell Hotdogs: “I’ve Always Loved Weenies”

Joel Osteen Quits Ministry to Sell Hotdogs: “I’ve Always Loved Weenies”

Joel Osteen Quits Ministry to Sell Hotdogs: “I’ve Always Loved Weenies”

3 min read

Mattress Mack Donates Fortune to Zoolander’s Reading Center, Assures Public He’s Not a Cyborg

Mattress Mack Donates Fortune to Zoolander’s Reading Center, Assures Public He’s Not a Cyborg

Mattress Mack Donates Fortune to Zoolander’s Reading Center, Assures Public He’s Not a Cyborg

3 min read

Study Confirms Texas Republicans Are Literal Snowflakes, Sparks Statewide Meltdown

Study Confirms Texas Republicans Are Literal Snowflakes, Sparks Statewide Meltdown

Study Confirms Texas Republicans Are Literal Snowflakes, Sparks Statewide Meltdown

3 min read

Houston Woman Sues Ex-Boyfriend Over “Emotional Copyright” of Favorite Song

Houston Woman Sues Ex-Boyfriend Over “Emotional Copyright” of Favorite Song

Houston Woman Sues Ex-Boyfriend Over “Emotional Copyright” of Favorite Song

Melody Flatline

3 min read

"Hands Up, Roll Down”: Texas Police to Train in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu with Special Guest Master Ken

"Hands Up, Roll Down”: Texas Police to Train in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu with Special Guest Master Ken

"Hands Up, Roll Down”: Texas Police to Train in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu with Special Guest Master Ken

Armbar Thompson

3 min read

Smartphone Batteries Are Secretly Programmed to Fail, Experts Say

Smartphone Batteries Are Secretly Programmed to Fail, Experts Say

Smartphone Batteries Are Secretly Programmed to Fail, Experts Say

Buzz Killington

3 min read

Houston Activists Launch BIRDS Initiative to Knit Sweaters for Feathered Friends

Houston Activists Launch BIRDS Initiative to Knit Sweaters for Feathered Friends

Houston Activists Launch BIRDS Initiative to Knit Sweaters for Feathered Friends

John Ruckleford

2 min read

Promoted Articles

Experts Confirm Autism Officially Linked to… Autism

Dec 11, 2025

Experts Confirm Autism Officially Linked to… Autism

Experts Confirm Autism Officially Linked to… Autism

U.S. Imposes “Snowflake Tariffs” on Trump Jokes, While Calls Grow to Release Epstein Files

Sep 25, 2025

U.S. Imposes “Snowflake Tariffs” on Trump Jokes, While Calls Grow to Release Epstein Files

U.S. Imposes “Snowflake Tariffs” on Trump Jokes, While Calls Grow to Release Epstein Files

New Restaurant Mandate: Pay Up or Dry Out — Water No Longer Free Under F.E.A.S.T.

Sep 10, 2025

New Restaurant Mandate: Pay Up or Dry Out — Water No Longer Free Under F.E.A.S.T.

New Restaurant Mandate: Pay Up or Dry Out — Water No Longer Free Under F.E.A.S.T.

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