All Articles

By Paige Turne In what officials are calling “the most self-evident discovery in scientific history,” a new report has confirmed that autism is linked to autism. The revelation came after a team of researchers—well, one guy with a clipboard—announced they had finally cracked the code. “After years of investigation, we determined autistic people tend to… also be autistic,” he explained proudly, as if unveiling the cure for gravity. Pressed for clarification, he added, “You see

By Chuck Lafferty, The Daily Throb The U.S. government announced this week the rollout of “Snowflake Tariffs” on jokes told about Donald...

Here’s In a move that has left diners parched and politicians smug, F.E.A.S.T. (Federal Eatery & Sustenance Tribunal) has decreed that...

By Tempo R. Lapse, The Daily Throb HOUSTON, TX — Meet Kyle Thompson, a 34-year-old insurance adjuster who claims to live exactly .05...

In a bold attempt to modernize democracy, the United States has officially outsourced its entire government to America’s favorite retail...

By Fern Barkley, Religion Correspondent, The Daily Throb The Church of Bigfoot is projected to surpass Christianity as America’s most...

By Sandy Rashburn, Health Correspondent, The Daily Throb Florida has tossed out all vaccine mandates and rolled in “Chickenpox Carnival...

By Gale Forcewinds, The Daily Throb HOUSTON—A local man has found himself unemployed after an unfortunate “snart” —a sneeze-fart...

By Justine Time, The Daily Throb While politicians argue, athletes rake in millions for throwing balls, and movie stars get standing...

By Rich E. Luv, The Daily Throb MAR-A-LAGO —In a twist that absolutely no one saw coming, President Donald Trump and Elon Musk  have...

By Kirk P. Confession, The Daily Throb HOUSTON—In a move that has left Tesla owners stunned, the latest software update prevents the cars...

By Tucker Downtrodden, Daily Throb’s Chief Expert in Poor Life Choices They say “how you start your morning sets the tone for the rest of...

By:  Rocky Stonewell In a shocking turn of events that has left scientists and political analysts reeling, a Neanderthal found frozen in...

By Cliff Hanger, The Daily Throb HOUSTON — In a stunning reversal of tech trends, small TVs are making a comeback —and not because people...

By Chip Circuitry, The Daily Throb The inevitable robot uprising that every sci-fi movie has warned us about may be closer than expected....

By Shelly Yolks If you’ve been clutching your wallet tighter every time you reach for a carton of eggs, you’re not alone. Egg prices have...

By Pager McBeep, The Daily Throb In an era dominated by smartphones, constant notifications, and digital overload, a surprisingly quaint...

By:  Cliff Stonewell In the world of car culture, Jeep owners have long embraced the tradition of “ducking,” where rubber ducks are left...

By Gale Force, Atmospheric Oddities Correspondent In a groundbreaking revelation, a group of rogue scientists has finally provided an...

By Ken O’Veen For years, motivational speakers, productivity gurus, and that one friend who thinks reading self-help books makes them a...