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By Paige Turne In what officials are calling “the most self-evident discovery in scientific history,” a new report has confirmed that autism is linked to autism. The revelation came after a team of researchers—well, one guy with a clipboard—announced they had finally cracked the code. “After years of investigation, we determined autistic people tend to… also be autistic,” he explained proudly, as if unveiling the cure for gravity. Pressed for clarification, he added, “You see

By Chuck Lafferty, The Daily Throb The U.S. government announced this week the rollout of “Snowflake Tariffs” on jokes told about Donald...

Here’s In a move that has left diners parched and politicians smug, F.E.A.S.T. (Federal Eatery & Sustenance Tribunal) has decreed that...

By Tempo R. Lapse, The Daily Throb HOUSTON, TX — Meet Kyle Thompson, a 34-year-old insurance adjuster who claims to live exactly .05...

In a bold attempt to modernize democracy, the United States has officially outsourced its entire government to America’s favorite retail...

By Fern Barkley, Religion Correspondent, The Daily Throb The Church of Bigfoot is projected to surpass Christianity as America’s most...

By Sandy Rashburn, Health Correspondent, The Daily Throb Florida has tossed out all vaccine mandates and rolled in “Chickenpox Carnival...

By Gale Forcewinds, The Daily Throb HOUSTON—A local man has found himself unemployed after an unfortunate “snart” —a sneeze-fart...