U.S. Imposes “Snowflake Tariffs” on Trump Jokes, While Calls Grow to Release Epstein Files

By Chuck Lafferty, The Daily Throb

The U.S. government announced this week the rollout of “Snowflake Tariffs” on jokes told about Donald Trump anywhere in the world. Officials claim the tariffs will “protect national dignity,” though critics argue it’s nothing more than a tax on free speech. The pricing is steep: $10 for saying he’s orange, $50 for golf cart material, $250 for hairline jokes, and $1,000 for nicknames like “Diaper Don,” “Con-Mander-in-Thief,” “Agent Orange,” “Cheeto-in-Chief,” and “Mango Mussolini.” Enforcement will rely on “Joke Declarations” at airports and laugh-detection devices in comedy clubs, though early trials malfunctioned after confusing groans with genuine chuckles.

Trump himself offered a rare moment of honesty, admitting, “These tariffs are being applied because I don’t like it when people make fun of me. It makes me scared. I’m a very sad man.” The remark has only fueled comedians, who called the policy “the punchline that writes itself.” Meanwhile, late-night hosts warned that entire monologues could now trigger fines in the tens of thousands, and Canadian comics joked they’ll begin smuggling Trump material across the border like contraband cigarettes.

But while America is busy taxing laughter, the darker truth remains: the Epstein files must be released—immediately. Every sealed name protects predators, mocks justice, and spits in the face of survivors who have been ignored for decades. It does not matter if the list includes billionaires, politicians, royalty, or celebrities—truth is not optional. Hiding behind legal technicalities and redactions is cowardice. Until the files are made public, every official silence is complicity, every delay another wound to victims. And if you’re an individual who’s been fooled into thinking this isn’t important, then you are complicit in the crime. Jokes about Trump may now be taxed, but the real crime is that those who abused children in secret are still shielded by power in the open.