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THE HOUSTON THROB
The Yodeling Pickle: The Gadget You Didn’t Know You Needed
By Dilbert Spears , Product Innovation Correspondent The yodeling pickle. Yes, it’s a thing, and yes, you absolutely need it. At first...
Feb 133 min read
Salvation 2.0: Worship from Your Couch with VR Church (But Watch for In-App Purchases)
By Faith Pixel In a move that’s raising both eyebrows and bank balances, a mega-church in Texas has launched a VR Church that lets...
Feb 132 min read
Select Schools Across U.S. Introduce AI Teachers: Are Robot Educators the Future?
By Chip Pointer In a bold experiment that has parents, students, and human teachers scratching their heads, select schools across the...
Feb 133 min read
Self-Service and Self-Checkout at Hospitals: Because Who Needs Doctors Anyway?
By Paige Turner In a bold move to innovate the healthcare industry (or completely destroy it, depending on your perspective), hospitals...
Feb 133 min read
That’s Nazi We Expected: Elon Musk Declares Himself Supreme Leader of Innovation and Government Contracts
By Victor Von Chortle In the latest chapter of his absurdly over-the-top quest for dominance, Elon Musk has gone full dictator. Forget...
Feb 133 min read
TikTok Users Petition to Add ‘Dance Challenges’ as an Olympic Sport by 2028
By Rhythmiq Reel, Social Media Correspondent The 2028 Summer Olympics in Los Angeles might look a little different, as TikTok users...
Feb 123 min read
DJ X and Alexa Are Dating, Fans Question How Two Voices Can Make It Work
By Mike Frequenzi, Digital Love Correspondent In what may be the most unexpected celebrity couple of 2025, DJ X, the world’s most...
Feb 123 min read
Daylight Saving Time Officially Renamed to ‘Daylight Savings Time,’ Nation Rejoices in Adding an ‘S’
By Sunny Spelling, Timekeeping Correspondent In what experts are calling the “most consequential change in timekeeping since clocks went...
Feb 123 min read
Airlines Now Charging Passengers Extra for ‘Emotional Baggage’ Handling
By Skylar Fees, Aviation Economics Correspondent In a move that has passengers rolling their eyes while frantically checking their...
Feb 123 min read
Elon Musk Requires Employees to Bow and Pray to Him, Plans to Expand Worship to Entire Countries
By Orbit McReverence, Billionaire Behavior Correspondent In a bold new workplace policy that has Silicon Valley buzzing, Elon Musk has...
Feb 122 min read
Texas Bans Electric Cars, Citing Fears of “Electromagnetic Chaos”
By Chuck Torque, Energy and Infrastructure Correspondent In a controversial move, Texas lawmakers have officially banned the sale and...
Feb 112 min read
AI to Replace Therapy: Chatbots Now Charging $150 an Hour to Ask ‘How Does That Make You Feel?’
By Paige Ficker, Artificial Empathy Correspondent In a groundbreaking move that has mental health professionals scrambling, Silicon...
Feb 112 min read
Google Maps Initiates Renaming Spree Under President Trump’s Directive
Google Maps Initiates Renaming Spree Under President Trump’s Directive By Libby Teague, Patriot Branding Correspondent In a bold move to...
Feb 112 min read
All Cell Phones to Be Auto Updated, Chaos Ensues as Nobody Reads the Terms & Conditions
By Ray Dacted, The Daily Throb SILICON VALLEY — A mysterious, large-scale cell phone update set to roll out in March 2025 has privacy...
Feb 112 min read
History Books to Be Updated: Jesus Now Credited with Founding the U.S. and Writing the Declaration of Independence
By Paul Revere Jr., The Daily Throb WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a shocking revision of American history , a newly approved education policy...
Feb 112 min read
FDA Officially Classifies Fruity Pebbles as Health Food, Nutritionists Resign in Protest
B y Barry Crunch, The Daily Throb WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning turn of events , the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has...
Feb 112 min read
Burgergate: Fast Food Chains Caught Secretly Adding Kale to Beef—And People Are Accidentally Healthier
By Patty O’Malley | The Daily Throb A shocking new report has revealed that major fast food chains have been secretly sneaking kale into...
Feb 112 min read
New Social Media Trend Encourages Users to Log Off and Touch Grass—Nobody Does It
By Chip Scrolling, The Daily Throb LOS ANGELES — A new social media trend encouraging users to “log off and touch grass” has taken the...
Feb 102 min read
Boston Zombies Outraged Over Declining Brain Quality: “No Substance Anymore!”
By Mort Decay, The Daily Throb BOSTON — The undead have spoken, and they are deeply disappointed. In a shocking and unexpected turn of...
Feb 102 min read
Aliens Finally Land on Earth, Immediately Regret Their Decision
By Zoltan Terrestria, The Daily Throb LOS ANGELES — After centuries of speculation, blurry UFO footage, and late-night conspiracy...
Feb 102 min read
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