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THE HOUSTON THROB
Salvation 2.0: Worship from Your Couch with VR Church (But Watch for In-App Purchases)
By Faith Pixel In a move that’s raising both eyebrows and bank balances, a mega-church in Texas has launched a VR Church that lets...
Feb 132 min read
Elon Musk Requires Employees to Bow and Pray to Him, Plans to Expand Worship to Entire Countries
By Orbit McReverence, Billionaire Behavior Correspondent In a bold new workplace policy that has Silicon Valley buzzing, Elon Musk has...
Feb 122 min read
Houston Unveils New ‘HOV MVP’ Lane for Aggressive Drivers Who Think Rules Don’t Apply
by Casey Lane HOUSTON, TX —In a groundbreaking move that blends traffic innovation with sheer audacity, Houston officials have announced...
Jan 282 min read
Upcoming Hug-a-Thon Aims to Unite Texas Political Divide with Awkward Side Hugs
Sponsored by Hardee’s and Dick’s Sporting Goods, this ambitious event promises sweaty embraces, forced smiles, and free burgers. Move...
Jan 273 min read
TxDOT Announces Bold Plan to Solve Houston Traffic in Just 192 Years
By Grid Lockington, Houston Throb Traffic Analyst HOUSTON, TX — In a shocking display of optimism, the Texas Department of...
Jan 263 min read
Houston Rodeo Goes Hardcore: Ditches Country for Punk, Metal, and Vegan Kale Chips
By Rusty Spurs McEdge, Houston Throb Staff Writer HOUSTON, TX — The Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo has gone off the rails—and possibly...
Jan 263 min read
Bigfoot Mania Grips Houston: Local Expert Vows to Solve the Mystery
By Harry P. Furman, Houston Throb Cryptid Correspondent Move over traffic woes and humidity—Houston has a new mystery: Bigfoot. Recent...
Jan 253 min read
Californians Steal Jobs, Raise Property Values, and Enrich Texas—Texans Outraged at Influx of Respect and Understanding
By Lonestar Snark, Cultural and Economic Satirist AUSTIN, TX – In a development that has Texans clutching their cowboy hats,...
Jan 253 min read
Joel Osteen Quits Ministry to Sell Hotdogs: “I’ve Always Loved Weenies”
By Holly Roller, Lifestyle and Dining Correspondent HOUSTON, TX – In a move that has left his followers shocked and confused,...
Jan 253 min read
Mattress Mack Donates Fortune to Zoolander’s Reading Center, Assures Public He’s Not a Cyborg
By Paige Turner, Literacy and Lifestyle Reporter HOUSTON, TX – Beloved Houston icon and furniture mogul Jim “Mattress Mack” McIngvale has...
Jan 253 min read
Study Confirms Texas Republicans Are Literal Snowflakes, Sparks Statewide Meltdown
By Frosty Winters, Political Correspondent TEXAS – A groundbreaking new scientific study has sent shockwaves through the Lone Star State,...
Jan 253 min read
Houston Woman Sues Ex-Boyfriend Over “Emotional Copyright” of Favorite Song
By Melody Flatline, Music Reporter HOUSTON, TX – In what legal experts are calling the pettiest lawsuit of the decade, a Houston woman...
Jan 253 min read
"Hands Up, Roll Down”: Texas Police to Train in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu with Special Guest Master Ken
By Armbar Thompson, Martial Arts Correspondent AUSTIN, TX – Texas lawmakers have passed sweeping legislation requiring all police...
Jan 253 min read
Smartphone Batteries Are Secretly Programmed to Fail, Experts Say
By Buzz Killington, Tech Life Reporter In a revelation that shocks absolutely no one but still manages to ruin your day, tech experts...
Jan 243 min read
Houston Activists Launch BIRDS Initiative to Knit Sweaters for Feathered Friends
HOUSTON, TX – In a city-wide effort to protect local wildlife from unexpected cold snaps, liberal activists have announced the launch of...
Jan 242 min read
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