Kid Rock’s Cry for Attention: When Even Trump Won’t Take Your Call

By Ima Jester – The Daily Throb

NASHVILLE – In a twist that has left many saying, “Well, what did you expect?” musician and professional provocateur Kid Rock is reportedly feeling the sting of unreturned phone calls from his former buddy, ex-President Donald Trump. Yes, the man who once shot up cases of Bud Light to protest a beer company’s partnership with a transgender influencer is now lamenting that his calls are going straight to voicemail.

“It’s been tough on him,” said a source who managed to keep a straight face. “One minute, they’re bonding over their shared love of controversy and self-promotion, and the next, it’s like Trump found a new sidekick.”

The friendship between Kid Rock and Trump was always a head-scratcher. From discussing foreign policy over golf (because who better to advise on international relations than the guy who sang ‘Bawitdaba’?) to sharing tips on how to rile up the public, their bond seemed unbreakable. But now, with Trump busy settling lawsuits with media giants and planning his next rally, it appears Kid Rock has been left on read.

“He tried everything,” said the source. “Text messages, DMs, even sending a bottle of whiskey with a note attached. But it’s like Trump has moved on to other enablers.”

In a desperate bid for attention, Kid Rock reportedly considered releasing a new single titled “Return My Call (Donnie’s Lament),” but friends advised against it, fearing it might come off as too pathetic.

When reached for comment, a spokesperson for Trump stated, “Mr. Trump has a very busy schedule and receives countless calls daily. He wishes Kid Rock all the best and hopes to catch up soon.” Translation: “New phone, who dis?”

As for Kid Rock, he’s been spotted at various Nashville bars, phone in hand, waiting for that elusive call. In the meantime, he’s reportedly working on a new album inspired by his unrequited bromance, tentatively titled “MAGA Melancholy.”

Stay tuned for more updates on this developing tale of woe.