Houston Parents Turn to Baby Crying Coaches for Next-Level Tantrums
- Pat Lament
- Jan 29
- 1 min read
By Pat Lament, Baby Behavior Specialist
Forget basic cries — Houston parents are now hiring Baby Crying Coaches to ensure their infants achieve maximum emotional impact. Lisa Petty, the city’s first certified Baby Crying Coach, promises to transform any baby into a true master of
vocal distress. “It’s not just about volume; it’s about range,” says Petty, demonstrating the perfect combination of a whimper and a full-throttle scream. “You want your baby to cry like they’ve just been told they’re out of snacks — but with Oscar-level subtlety.”
The results speak for themselves. Houston mom Angela Thompson claims her daughter’s cries are now so powerful, “they make people on the bus visibly uncomfortable. It’s a whole vibe.”
While some child development experts are concerned that Baby Crying Coaches might teach babies the wrong emotional lessons, Petty insists it’s about empowerment. “It’s an art form,” she says. “Parents can’t just expect a baby to cry on command without the proper training.”
So if you’re tired of your baby’s “meh” cries, consider enrolling them in a class that promises to bring the drama — and maybe even a tear or two.
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