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Americans Fondly Recall the Good Old Days When Robots Just Vacuumed

By Dusty Circuit 


A new study finds that a majority of Americans long for the simpler times when robots had one job—cleaning up crumbs—and weren’t busy taking over the world.


“I miss when my biggest concern with AI was whether or not my Roomba would eat my shoelaces,” said local man Greg Thompson, staring warily at his smart fridge. “Now, I can’t even use self-checkout without being asked to tip a robot.”


The rapid advancement of artificial intelligence has left many nostalgic for the golden era of robotic servitude, when they were limited to vacuuming, playing music, and occasionally scaring pets. However, with AI now writing news articles, composing music, diagnosing medical conditions, and making passive-aggressive meal recommendations based on expired yogurt, many feel things have gone too far.


Michelle Lopez, a longtime Roomba owner, recalls the trust she once placed in technology. “I used to yell at my vacuum for getting stuck under the couch,” she said. “Now, I yell at ChatGPT for making up facts about my own job. It’s just not the same.”


The sense of unease has only grown as AI expands into more aspects of daily life. Gone are the days when people could safely assume their electronic devices weren’t spying on them or plotting their downfall. Now, everything from doorbells to microwaves is connected to an ever-growing web of machine intelligence, collecting data and making decisions that nobody fully understands.


“I just wanted a robot to vacuum, not write my kid’s history paper,” said frustrated parent Jake Matthews. “Now I have to triple-check if anything I read online was actually written by a human or if it’s just some AI fever dream.”


Meanwhile, some people have tried resisting the tide of automation altogether. Carol Simmons, 67, proudly claims she still vacuums her floors manually. “It builds character,” she insists. “And at least I know my vacuum cleaner won’t one day gain sentience and start a podcast.”


Experts predict that AI will only become more advanced in the coming years, but for now, many Americans are clinging to their outdated Roombas, longing for a time when robots knew their place—quietly spinning in circles, eating dust bunnies, and minding their own business.



 
 
 

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